Patients who annoy me

Let's get one thing clear, I enjoy being a pharmacist. However, sometimes there are people who irritate me so very, very much. I give you a few choice favourites:

1) Go to hell, Mr Pharmacist

Guy phones up on a Saturday and asks us to order his prescription for Quinine sulphate, "I've not ran out but I want it to be ready for me by Monday morning". He's told in the most polite way possible that this isn't possible but I helpfully suggest if he's got a reason for needing it so soon he should give the surgery a quick ring first thing on Monday. I’m told to "go to hell!”

2) I should just pick it off the shelf

Old man collects his prescription for Betnovate RD but upon opening the bag, he insists he should have had Betnovate. Already dealing with a ton of work, I try to talk some sense into him. Meanwhile, every other member of staff has conveniently disappeared

The pharmacy's never dispensed this before. He insists that the last pharmacist just picked what he wanted off the shelf and let him get on his way. 

3) Highly illogical  

Woman hands in her prescription and impatiently mutters "Will it be long?" When she's told it'll be 5 minutes, sadly this is too long a wait and she decides to try the next pharmacy. 20 minutes away. Highly illogical, as Spock would say. Or should that be highly idiotic?

4) Please refrain from slapping the sarcastic cow

Patient hands in a 15 item prescription. After checking it, the pharmacist goes to hand it out and some woman in the queue thinks it's clever to snicker "Hey, hey, well done!" Wow, you seem to think a 10 minute wait is cause for being a sarcastic cow, would you like to step into the pharmacy and do your own prescription?

5) Lost for words

Man rushes in and says his wife bought a whole bag of stuff from the pharmacy but seems to have left it on the bus. He shows the receipt and asks if he can have all the stuff, more than £30 worth, replaced. I have to say I was lost for words. 

6) Partially sighted?

Woman appears a week early to pick up a repeat prescription. For 15 items. Woman demands it be done and that she can't come back another day because she's partially sighted. When asked why she needs it this early, she shrugs her shoulders and says "I don't know, might have lost some of my tablets."  

Really? A whole week's worth? Or did you just neck your diazepam in one go? After finally finishing and handing out her prescription, she's told we owe her some metformin tablets. "That's okay, I'll come back in tomorrow." So much for partially sighted. 

7) The bakery closes at half past stupid

Receive a phone call, person asking "What time does Greggs close?"  “I don’t know, why don’t you ask Greggs?”

8)  Go complain to the French

A patient kicks up a fuss because the medication she receives has packaging that's printed in French. If you have a problem, go complain to the French.

9) Angry middle aged people are the worst 

Dispenser goes to hand out prescription for a middle aged guy. When told that we owe him gliclazide tablets he gets angry and says he doesn't take them. He accuses us of lying when we insist that he did present a script for them.

It takes seconds for him to become the angriest human being on the planet. His voice is raised and he threatens violence.

I restrain the urge to throttle him and show him the script, it's then he realises the surgery handed him another person's script. He leaves without an apology.